Michael “Skitch” Schiciano returns as Dungeon Master in: The Quest for the Esprit Blade.

Austin reveals a big bamboozle. Chris clears up a tragic ambiguity. Conrad foreshadows his upcoming evil character.

The Greatest Dane duels the Red Wolf for the fate of Markov and to avenge the fallen.

The Bastards join forces with the solitaire, the dragons, the Caravellas, and a ton of tarrasques to save the galaxy from Cassius and the Maxwells.

Every decision was a link in the chain. Now it’s time to see if their chain can bear the weight of consequences.

The end is extremely, profoundly nigh. (Content warning for body horror and mouth sounds.)

Our heroes infiltrate a black site on Gloria to learn what the reigar told Cassius.

The crew of the Tsuchinoko spends the last downtime session of the campaign being wildly horny.

The Bastards must escape Acheron to stop Cassius Pire from unleashing the Maxwells on Markov.

Cassius Pire reveals his plan.

The Bastards fight the forces of Invicta and Sol to save their friend.

The siege of Drift Park begins.

The sun arc comes to a close, as the Bastards strike a deal with Volhard.

Lauren has the Cassius disease, so the party flashes back to another time when Sasha was out of the picture

Kajita the sun dragon is willing to destroy entire worlds to erase evidence of the Maxwells. The Bastards must risk it all to stop him.

Markov’s sole star holds a lepidopteran secret. Only the sun dragon Kajita knows how to brave its obliterating fires.

The team returns to the inhospitable planet Fermat in search of alien technology which may hold the key to beating Cassius Pire.

Austin is sick, so Laura takes the DM reins for a prequel episode.

To prepare for the assault on Drift Park, the Bastards must figure out a way to defeat the Conduit of Freedom. But first: mechs.

The Purist arc comes to an end, as Compassion is revealed and Subjectivus is extracted.

Half the party searches for the exit to Compassion’s godly realms, while the other half searches for the Form intersecting with the physical world.

A party split complicates the infiltration of Compassion’s ascetic headquarters.

The Bastards infiltrate the Purist cult compound to extract a VIP. Content warning: gross mouth sounds.

We continue the long tradition of downtime sessions that vacillate wildly between funny and sad.

Michael “Skitch” Schiciano takes the reins for the first ever stand-alone adventure in the Dice Funk universe.

It’s the holiday season! In space! How do holidays work in space? No one knows.

ALL THE SECRETS ARE REVEALED.

The Bastards arrest Vinny Caravella and learn what happened to Noble.

Anthony Caravella Junior knows why Noble was commissioned for his final sculpture and the whereabouts of the missing pilot.

A missing pilot holds the key to the death of Noble the reigar.

Who will be promoted to first mate? When will the team learn of the secret operation to take down the Caravella crime family?

Peace with the illithids is within reach and Invicta’s plans were foiled, but downtime is still no picnic.

Elizabeth Bohr is poised for a killing blow. Even if the Bastards defeat her Greyhound, they still have to contend with the leader of Invicta: Colonel Cassius Pire.

The poachers have been identified and their plan is clear: kidnap titans of the earth, sea, and sky.

Park Ranger Keyser escorts the Bastards to the misty island biome where the poachers were spotted.

Welcome to Hypatia, the wildlife preserve planet home to the universe’s most massive monsters!

Great strides were made towards peace with the illithids. Now it’s time for the team to spend some downtime on Gloria before starting their next mission.

The Bastards refuse to take a side in the illithid/solitaire crisis and flee to Gloria.

After striking a deal with Objectivus, the team tries to put the escaped specimens back in their cages. Then… everything goes off the rails.

The Bastards try to find the source of the distress signal on Fermat, the most inhospitable planet in the solar system.

Season 1 was Stoneroot. Season 2 was Lorelei. Season 3 was Ilium. Season 4 was Valentine. Season 5 is Markov.